3rd Show added at Warner Theater 12/1. Onsale 8/15 10am

My Mid-Atlantic amigos,

Thanks to everyone who bought tickets to Warner Theater shows.  Due to demand,  a second show has been added on Saturday night which will go on sale Wednesday, August 15th at 10am. 

Friday, November 30th Warner Theater Washington, DC
Saturday, December 1st Warner Theater Washington, DC
Saturday, December 1st Warner Theater THIRD SHOW ADDED
Saturday, October 27 Christopher Newport U Newport News, VA

The show is open to all ages.  Please say hey at the meet and greet following the show

When I was a kid I really thought it would be so cool to be an Astronaut. Upon some recent analysis, I’m just not as impressed as I was when I was ten.

First of all, astronauts have to wear diapers. Diapers! I know.

This lowered the status of the career pretty much to the bottom for me too. I didn't know about the diaper thing until recently, and it’s gotta be a career surprise for some of them. “Bill after 30 years of training, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you ARE GOING TO THE MOON. The bad news is you have to wear a diaper for 6 months.” I don’t know about you but I’d stay here and look at that GoogleMap thing.

My Second issue. The traveling. Granted I’m not someone who is even is a fan of going outside, but flying to outer space? No thanks. I get bored on a flight from NY to DC. Astronauts must have moments before lift off like: “OK I’m traveling for 6 months. I guess I can read this book and watch this movie, then... I’ll only have 6 months to kill”.

Lastly, those space suits? C'mon. What is this "Lost In Space"? Do you mean technology hasn’t improved enough to get them out of those bulky giant onsies with the bubble head helmet? They look like they are on their way to a Halloween party in the 1960's.

Frankly, I’m surprised we can even get people to be astronauts. “Hey want to sit in a giant tin can for six months and press some buttons? Oh, by the way, you might die. But at least you'll be wearing a diaper.”

I love you and really do respect astronauts,

Jim


P.S. I’m now on Facebook, IMDB, Myspace

P.P.S. Real ringtones available here.


 

ALL APPEARANCES:

Date Venue City or TV Show
Tix
Aug 16 buy   Humphrey’s
San Diego, CA
buy
Aug 18 buy   Silver Legacy Casino
Reno, NV
buy
Aug 19 buy   Mountain Winery
Saratoga, CA
buy
Aug 21 buy  Beyond The Pale - One Hour Special Re-Airs - 10PM
Comedy Central
Aug 22 buy  Beyond The Pale - One Hour Special Re-Airs - 12AM
Comedy Central
Sep 02 buy   Riverside Casino & Golf Resort - 5pm
Riverside, IA
Sep 07 buy   Purdue University - Elliott Hall of Music
 Special password is BACON

West Lafayette, IN
Sep 13 buy   Western Illinois University
Macomb, IL
buy
Sep 15 buy   Marist College
  for students only
Poughkeepsie, NY
buy
Sep 18 buy   University of South Carolina - Kroger Center
  for students only
Columbia, SC
buy
Sep 24 buy   Late Night with Conan O'Brien
  WITH PALE FORCE

NBC TV
12:35am/11:35C
buy
Sep 29 buy   Tower Theater Philadelphia, PA
buy
Sep 29 buy   Tower Theater
  2nd SHOW ADDED ONSALE AUG 15th @ 10am
Philadelphia, PA
buy
Oct 12 buy   Orpheum Theater - special password is Bacon
  SECOND SHOW ADDED
Minneapolis, MN
buy
Oct 13 buy   Orpheum Theater

Minneapolis, MN
buy
Oct 13 buy   Orpheum Theater THIRD SHOW ADDED!!! Minneapolis, MN
buy
Oct 16 buy   Auburn University - 7:30PM
  Activities Center - for students only
Auburn ,AL
buy
Oct 18 buy   University of Maryland
  for students only
Baltimore, MD
buy
Oct 19 buy   Bucknell University
  Langone Center Lawn - for students only
Lewisburg, PA
buy
Oct 26 buy   Central Washington University - 8PM
  Ballroom - for students only
Ellensburg, WA
buy
Oct 27 buy   Christopher Newport University
  The Freeman Center - OPEN TO PUBLIC
Newport News, VA
buy
Oct 29 Private Corporate Event
Myrtle Beach, SC
buy
Nov 02 buy   Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
  Password is bacon
Portland, OR
buy
Nov 03 buy   Paramount Theater
Seattle, WA
buy
Nov 03 buy   Paramount Theater SECOND SHOW ADDED!!!
Seattle, WA
buy
Nov 04 buy   Paramount Theater THIRD SHOW ADDED!!!
  ONSALE JULY 18th
Seattle, WA
buy
Nov 17 buy   Fox Theatre
Detroit, MI
buy
Nov 25 buy   Pearl Theatre at the Palms
Las Vegas, NV
buy
Nov 30 buy   Warner Theatre
Washington, DC
buy
Dec 01 buy   Warner Theatre
  SECOND SHOW ADDED!!!

Washington, DC
buy
Dec 01 buy   Warner Theatre
  THIRD SHOW ADDED!!!
ONSALE AUG 15th @ 10am
Washington, DC
buy

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